But to often seniors move into an Assisted Living community because they appreciate the decor, or the size of the apartments or that it’s in the town they’re most familiar. But little do they know, choosing a senior living residence is as important as choosing a spouse. The community will take on the overall personality of the one who is directing it. If you have a stale, bitter director, you’ll have a stale, bitter community. If you have a happy, peaceful director, guess what? You’ll have a happy and peaceful community.

Have you ever heard the term, Like attracts like? When the director hires the team that will be running the facility, they will hire people that generally have similiar attitudes and beliefs as their own. Believe it or not, this will even trickle down to the types of residents who decide to move into the community. Like atracts like. Happy director, happy residents. Un-happy director, un-happy residents. So if you want to save time and money investigating which Senior Living Community is right for you, start at the top and get to know the Executive Director first. And remember, like attracts like. Practice happiness:)

“You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality.”
Dr. Wayne Dyer

By Ruby MacDonald

For years I’ve been fascination by the human brain and its vast potential. First from a psychological v.p. & now from a spiritual view point, not in the religious sense, but in the more mystical/creative realm. I’m convinced that our ability to create begins in our brain; God created us to create. Creation begins with one tiny thought. It may come from within you, or someone else, and once you accept it as yours and begin to think about it, you’ve started the process of creation. The more emotion you have with that thought the more powerful is your ability to attract what you want. Once your brain gets the go-ahead from you, it springs into action and clicks in to perform your command perfectly. That is why it’s extremely important to be aware of your own thoughts and the words you say. Your brain doesn’t sort out positive from the negative; it waits for your command. It simply acts on your thought.
I’ve spent half of my life learning about and teaching how powerful the brain is and how important our thoughts are. When I was a kid I used to hear my father speak of the dreaded “evil eye” in his native Sicily. I snickered and thought it was a bunch of nonsense even though the stories made the hair on the back of my neck stand at attention. I’ve since learned about the power of the mind and believe that if I told you that something terrible was going to happen to you, and you believed me, YOU could make it happen simply by the power/energy/focus you give it; your own mind would work to carry out whatever you feared.
I believe that the power of the mind can also make us ill, or worse. One of my favorite examples of the power of suggestion is this one: During the winter months we are ambushed with news that the flu is epidemic. We’re sure we can’t escape it so we begin to worry. If we get the sniffles we’re certain we’ve got something that’s going around. We reinforce our fear by thinking that we have a cold, and we tell everyone who will listen. (It may have only been hay fever.) Next, we think we will be really sick, probably run a fever and by the end of the week we are certain we will be in bed vomiting or worse. Well, guess what? I believe that since we’ve programmed ourselves for a week full of illness— that is exactly what we will get. We’ve created it with our powerful minds. The brain has taken instructions and followed them exactly as we’ve prescribed it.
Arthritis is one of my pet peeves. If we break or sprain something doctors are quick to say arthritis will set in. My doc knows “I don’t do arthritis.” She snickers. I refer to it as the nasty “A” word. People take possession of arthritis as soon as they think they have it. I.E.: A younger friend’s fingers began aching; her mother had arthritis so she was certain she’d inherited it. (How many of us do that?) She took possession of it and referred to it as “my arthritis.” We had a little discussion and it “amazingly” disappeared! I believe strongly that it isn’t necessary to talk about any symptom or medical sentence your doctor has decreed for you. To acknowledge it is to reinforce it. Taking possession of it and making it yours only gives it permission to proceed. Once we start talking about it to others, it grabs that energy/power to accelerate. That energy can better be used to create positive thoughts of healing for yourself. Get the needed treatment. Then if you must tell someone, say, “I’m catching healing,” and let it go. You can tell those symptoms that they are not welcome in your body and to flee. You must believe it, however, and you must be persistent, for the habit of illness is like a child who pushes the envelope to see if you mean business.. It’s up to you to stick in there and show the old habit who is boss. It takes a while to break old habits and patterns, so don’t expect the symptoms to disappear quickly. Like a spoiled child who is suddenly being disciplined, there will be rebellion within. Remember to put lots of emotion behind your thoughts of healing and be persistent.
We are never too old or too sick or too busy, to have creative minds. We “create” every second of every day and it is either negative or positive —depleting energy or increasing energy.
We deplete our energy if we focus on a negative situation, be it our own or someone else’s. Our energy level plummets and a cloud of doom and gloom cloaks us. When we change our thought pattern to those that are sunny, energy levels are elevated to a healthier state; we are less vulnerable to illness & to attracting negative thinking people into our lives.. Thoughts are contagious. Choose wisely.

“As you cannot have a sweet and wholesome abode unless you admit the air and sunshine freely into your rooms, so a strong body and a bright, happy, or serene countenance can only result from the free admittance into the mind of thoughts of joy and goodwill and serenity.” — James Allen 1864-1912 (note the dates—this is not “new age” enlightenment, but time-proven.)

Yes, I’m writing about the “F” word.

This “F” word is – F-E-A-R, one of the most crippling of the four letter words. We all have some. FEAR directs our lives with enough strength and power to keep us confined within the steel cell of our minds. A prisoner of “fear.”  If you doubt it, take time to honestly examine your own fears to see how they have kept you in bondage. How have they denied you some of the joys of life? What have you always wanted to do but didn’t because of fear?

Some of us have worked hard to remove one steel bar at a time. Others tend to be content within their prisons. Few if any of us live within the freedoms that are ours simply for the taking.   The unfortunate thing about fear is that not only does it deny us the freedom to live; it is consciously or unconsciously passed on from one generation to the next.

My own mother had far too many fears that she passed on to her four daughters. She was fearful of the water and didn’t want us to drown. She was fearful of bikes and skates, so we were “saved” from falling down and bruising ourselves. The dark. What people would say if….And the list could go on and on.

As many of you know, Tom and I spend as much time on the water as possible. Vacation destinations are mostly to the ocean. And boating is a top priority. But I don’t know how to swim so I play it safe and cautiously while others are in the warm tropical water snorkeling or swimming to cool off. The turning point for me was a recent incident where we were in a water taxi going from one small island to the main one. I usually wear a lifejacket, but our luggage had already been stacked forward and the lifejackets were all beyond reach in the nose of the bow. After our group of six boarded, several islanders came aboard making far too many people for such a narrow wooden boat. The half hour ride was riddled with fear as each of us knew that it would not take much to tip the boat. I realized then how unfair it was that I could not swim and others would have the responsibility of saving me, in addition to themselves, if we’d capsized. The only way to conquer fear is to face it, and so I’m taking swim lessons. And so, “You can teach an old dog new tricks!”  So don’t you dare use “age” as an excuse.

My fellow-writer, Marion Duckworth said, “Isn’t it interesting that you are doing so well so quickly and fear kept you from learning to swim. A message for all of us.”

            The point is, that for many of us, life is quickly fleeting by and we are missing out on living life to the fullest because of our fears. Now, while the clock still clicks, it is a good time to do something that your fears have stolen from you..  The four letter word can be turned into a five letter word: FAITH in yourself and your ability to CHANGE. One of the best ways to initiate a change is to state what your intention is for that fear. Intention is just another way of saying that we can create what we think about. Our first thought becomes an “intention” about a specific fear, emotion or attitude.

In a new movie, “What the Bleep! Do We Know!?,  which is sweeping the country,  Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “I wake up in the morning, and I consciously create my day the way I want it to happen. Now, sometimes, because my mind is examining all the things that I need to get done, it takes me a little bit to settle down, and get to the point of where I’m actually intentionally creating my day. But here’s the thing. When I create my day, … out of nowhere, little things happen that are so unexplainable; I know they are the process or the result of my creation. And the more I do that, the more I build a neural net in my brain, (and I can) accept that that’s possible. It gives me the power and the incentive to do it…”   (This amazing movie will be shown in Walnut Creek on August 13, 04.)

I’ve written about the power of intention before but it is so powerful and I’m so excited about the possibilities that you’ll just have to bear with me because I really want you to get the concept. It’s so simple that it would be easy to think it doesn’t matter. But it does. Here is how to make it work for you:

·         Break your day into segment. A segment begins the moment you wake up and have a first thought.

·         Now direct that thought into an intention. Send out the thought of what kind of day you’d like to have. Perhaps you felt grumpy, or not as well as you’d like to feel. The thought you’d send out is for health and joy and you would concentrate on those.

·         The next thing you do becomes a segment, and so on all through the day. Before you begin each segment, direct your thoughts towards a positive, joyful outcome.

·         Now you are in control of your thoughts, your day, and your life. You will feel more in control instead of out of control.

·         Believe!  (FAITH REPLACES FEAR)

Had Tom and I and our group taken control of the segment before we stepped into that island boat in Tonga, directing it to safety, we would have spoken to the captain about the vessel being overloaded and asked the islanders to wait for the next boat taxi since we had a plane to catch that morning and needed to get to shore. And we would have made sure that we had easy access to the life jackets and I would have been wearing one. In other words, having a clear intention as we go through the day, assures us less stress and gives us more of what we really want.  It gives us control over our fears and allows us to create a positive outcome.  So—NEVER AGAIN AVOID THE FOUR LETTER WORD, “FEAR.”

By Ruby MacDonald

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. – unknown

For the last few decades I’ve been teaching people how to think in a way that keeps them feeling ageless. And now, suddenly my friends and I have all become seniors. And that’s a good thing! Being a senior demands that we learn to flow with the tide or we shall drown in the sea of life. Some of my friends who are not yet seniors are also struggling in the waters of change as an only child, or children, swim away from the warm sands of home to find their new adventures. Then the parents must learn to walk the beach alone. My older friends experience the death of a loved one, divorce, illness, moving to a new community to be near adult children, and the list of changes we must face are endless. We’ve always gone through changes at every age but somehow in these golden years, the waters we wade in seem deeper.

Most of the major changes create high stress levels. However, change is the name of the game of life. Whether we can adjust to the many changes is what determines whether or not we will become “aged” or “ageless.” Given the choice, becoming and staying AGELESS is the ideal goal. Too many of us seem to reach a certain age and then never again venture into the oceans of life. Yet the ocean still beacons to us to jump in and swim.

Of course, circumstances change over the years and our health may in reality slow us down or even stop us from being as active as we once were. However, what we do with our attitude about any circumstance is totally up to each of us. Fortunately there are many who never see any limitations to living a full life. One of my favorite people who exhibited strength and courage was Christopher Reeves who not only fought to live life as fully as he could, but also helped others while doing so. He could have given up, felt sorry for himself and created misery for all those who loved him, but he displayed courage and determination instead.

Helen Keller, being both blind and deaf had more to overcome than most of us, but she said that, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” She didn’t include an age limit in her statement, and we should not set age limits to our quest for adventure. She knew that her character would be formed and strengthened by surmounting the difficulties she faced.

WE ARE THE MASTER, EVEN IN OUR WEAKEST AND MOST ABANDONED STATE – James Allen

There are so many advantages to being a senior. Yet we seldom hear the positive side. Let me name a few. By this time we don’t care anymore what people say or think about us. We’ve earned the right to be us and we don’t have to meet the expectations of others. We can simply relax and be. We don’t have to “do” unless we want to. As someone wisely said, we are not human do-ings, we are “human be-ings.” But we often forget to take the time to simply BE. Seniors have more time to BE.

Another advantage of being an AGELESS Senior is that we can “BE” an inspiration to others. We can help drown the old myth that being a senior is the end of life and that we can’t keep doing many of the enjoyable things we’ve always done. The only thing that stops us is fear and an attitude that shouts that we can’t or shouldn’t at “our age.” To become or stay AGELESS, you’ve got to want it – you’ve got to have the passion – if you are to change. 

Lasting changes need a strong foundation on which to thrive. Just as the oceans rest on firm bed- rock, our strength comes from being firmly centered in a Higher Power. To become or remain  AGELESS in today’s world requires a vigilant guard against the myths of aging that surround and nag at us.  In the end, it’s up to each one of us to decide whether we will be “aged” and let the last precious years of life slip by, or be AGELESS, ignore the number of years of we’ve lived, and find new adventures to pursue so that life is exciting and stimulating. The choice is ours. January first is an excellent time to commit to an AGELESS ATTITUDE, renewing that commitment every single morning. What would you like to be doing right now that you’ve allowed your age and attitude to stop you?

“HOLD FAST TO an ageless attitude FOR IF the spirit dies, LIFE is nothing more than a boat at sea that cannot navigate the oceans of life; it is at the mercy of the wind and waves.” – Ruby MacDonald

Senior Living Insights

by Ruby MacDonald
Senior Living Insights

“In the true person, there is a child concealed who wants to come out and play – Nietzsche

When was the last time you had any fun?
It seems that kids are always having fun, no matter what they do, or where they are. They overflow with energy as though they are about to explode with it.  But as they grow older, day by day, year by year, the ability to have fun seems to decrease and for some adults, to completely disappear from their lives.  What happened to this all-important part of life?

Usually responsibility takes over. It makes us serious and so goal oriented that we forget what living really means..  Making a living – a necessity. A few enjoy the process while many others  have no options but to work at jobs they do not enjoy   In either case,  we still need to make time to have fun.

Fun serves many purposes. For kids, it teaches social and new skills, confidence, and creates laughter. It is a carefree time. Adults need  play so that they can relax, enjoy interaction with people and expand their horizons. Everyone needs laughter.

Many people think they are playing when they are competing. When in fact they are creating stress for themselves. So playing to win doesn’t quality as fun.  True playing doesn’t involve trying to impress or please other people; it isn’t measured by results, production or external rewards.  True fun is pure enjoyment that allows us to be totally present in the moment, and it includes moments of laughter, a good belly laugh. Here are a few quotes to ponder:
Laugh longer – live louder” -  “The purpose of fun is to have it.” -  “In the beginning, it was fun.” “A playful path is the shortest road to happiness.”  And one I especially like is: “For every Way there’s a Way of following that Way that’s fun.” Try the following to add more spice to your life.

Think of play as enjoying the simple things that give you instant emotional rewards.
Try new things to push your limits that are fun.
Allow your imagination to flow freely
Be anything and everything you dream of such  as a ballerina, an artist, etc. if only for a day or in your imagination
Engage with nature and its creatures
Be silly, playful, spontaneous and curious
Go to the senior center and sign up for a fun trip
Participate in a new activity that you haven’t tried before right where you live.
Try painting if you’ve always wanted to be an artist.- you don’t have to paint a perfect picture, all that is required is that you have fun and enjoy the process.
Read something you can completely get lost in.
Laugh – do something that makes you laugh.
Listen to music
Plant something or buy a new plant to enjoy.
Notice new things as you walk down the same streets
Watch a funny movie
And lastly, keep a daily journal and before retiring list one thing for which you are grateful;  one way you had fun and how many times you laughed..

“You can’t ever just sit back and let things happen. Never give in…Never, never think about your age, and keep occupied until the end.” – Mary Martin

Senior Living Insights By Ruby MacDonald

“A day without gratitude is like a day without sunshine.”

Today the sky is a lovely cobalt blue, a welcome change from the rains. Fluffy white clouds tease the sun. The horizon is a less vivid color as it dips down into the Coral Sea here on the north eastern coast of Australia. I’m sitting on the deck of a catamaran watching the dark blue waves that barely hint at white caps. We’re cruising along at ten knots and all is well.  Life is good. We utter a silent prayer of gratitude.

Gratitude! Such a powerful word. This word is a potent tool for life when we remember to focus on it. Oh, it’s easy to focus on gratitude on a perfect day such as this one when my mind is peaceful; I’m comfortable, healthy and well fed.

But what about those days when a persistent wind whips our sails or the seas are so choppy it’s difficult to find our sea legs – or the engines fail to fire up in the face of an approaching cyclone?

Even on land everyone has days like those. They seem to multiply as we grow into being more “seasoned adults.” But when we shift our focus from gratitude for all that’s right about our lives and focus on all that is not so right, often the sea of life becomes too rough to handle. It is then that thoughts of gratitude seem to have sunk to the bottom of the sea and the desire to be thankful for what fate has handed us is locked tight in Davey’s locker.

The sixty four dollar question then, is, “How can I focus on the positive things in my life when it feels as though I’ve drowned in my own problems?”  Changing our thought pattern is simple but not easy—since the way we think is a habit and habits are not easy to break. But the good news is that since thoughts are a habit, we can start a new habit—a new way of thinking. Use the methods outlined below, and stick with it for the entire month. These new habits will enrich your life and help develop an attitude of gratitude.

1. The first thought of negativity that sneaks into your mind must be speared as soon as possible so it doesn’t spread its tentacles like an octopus and render you helpless. A thought, (what you think ) is one of the most powerful, invisible, weapons (tools) in the world. Doubt me? Think about how Hitler’s powerful thoughts/words contaminated the world.  On the positive side, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale influenced thousands, perhaps millions of people including me, with his book, The Power of Positive Thinking. It all started with a thought. Dr. Wayne Dyer, a modern day motivational teacher of wisdom, says that we become what we think about all day long, and the Bible warned us to be careful what we ask for (it is a thought first). A thought alone is as powerful as asking for something with words. Think of it as a seed. As soon as energy is given to any thought it sprouts, and like a pesky weed, will spread its roots and grow.
2. Take charge of your thoughts and words. Remember, thoughts are powerful tools and you are in control of them. Many us allow our thoughts to sail through our minds with no controls. Yet we surely wouldn’t get into a boat that had no captain, engine (sails), no rudder, or wheel, and let the sea joust us about and be at the mercy of the seas Yet that is exactly what many of us do with our lives when we don’t control our thoughts.
3. Have your ammunition at hand. We must have constructive thoughts ready to push out and replace the first negative/destructive thoughts that enter.. Usually negative thoughts stir in the morning as soon as we wake up. Old habits have been lying beside us all night and they get up with us. It’s up to us to usher them out or invite them to stay. There are several kinds of ammunition that will replace those destructive thoughts while we break the old thought-patterns:
   1. Bible verses to read or saying those you have memorized
   2. Being in a state of gratitude first thing in the morning and before sleeping
   3. Prayers of affirmation and gratitude
   4. Reading inspirational magazines and books to keep your mind focused on the positive side of life.
   5. Listening to tapes, CDs of inspirational speakers
   6. Making a nightly list of at least five things for which you are grateful each day.
   7. Taking a quiet time each day to consciously focus on gratitude.
   8. Hanging out with positive people. “You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,” to quote from an old song.

1. BE GRATEFUL.  No matter what the day brings, work at being grateful about the many things that are still good in your life.  Write “GRATITUDE” on your mirror or paper to constantly remind you until GRATITUDE becomes an automatic habit.

                              “Serving your mind a dose of gratitude is like a multivitamin for your body.”

 Senior Living Insights

The New Life Group is lead by Michael J MacDonald and everyone is welcome to join.