Words Are The Most Powerful Thing In The Universe! – Senior Living Insights

February 21, 2009

Words are the most powerful thing in the universe.

Senior Living Insights By Ruby MacDonald
WORDS ARE POWERFUL. How we use them is most important. Positive words are powerful enough to bring healing. Negative words have the power to kill our spirit as illustrated in a newspaper article which clearly demonstrates how powerful and healing just a few simple words can be. After you’ve read this column perhaps, you’ll be moved to say some healing words to someone who waits, hoping to hear them.

Maybe you read the article in the Contra Costa Times on July 3, 2002; the headlines read: WOMAN RELIEVED TO HEAR SON’S KILLER APOLOGIZE. There was also a photo of Liz Kiepert—smiling!

You may remember back to 1998 when  an 11-year-old boy shot and killed Larry Kiepert, a 13 year old neighbor boy who was playing basketball in his own yard.  The eleven year old served four years for voluntary manslaughter.. This week when he attended his parole hearing, so did Liz Kiepert, the mother of the boy who was killed.

According to the news article written by Contra Costa Times Staff Writer, Celeste Ward,  Liz Kiepert  had suffered depression, anxiety, panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder after she watched her son be shot to death. She had said she wished the boy would have to serve the entire 14-year sentence and she did not understand how he could be rehabilitated when her family was still torn apart.

As the hearing date approached, Liz Kiepert wasn’t sure she wanted to be there. Two doctors had advised her against it but she needed to be there to vindicate her son. She went alone.  What occurred at the hearing is the best thing that could have happened, short of bringing her son back to life.

Moments before his release, the now 15 year-old boy had something to say. Liz says, “He turned around to face me and at first was mumbling. He said, ‘Mrs. Kiepert, if there was anything I could do differently, I would. I wish I could bring Larry back.’ Then he started to cry, and I asked the judge if I could hug him. That came out of my heart. When I saw him crying, I thought, ‘He’s a child.’ I hugged him 10 to 20 seconds and he kept whispering in my ear, ‘I’m so sorry.’  I told him Larry would forgive him, and to go make a good life for himself. I had the whole courtroom in tears.”

Liz Kiepert felt the years of bitterness and anger melt away as the judge released the boy. She said, “It was a relief. He said what I wanted to hear all these years. I felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders. Now I can go forward.” Liz Kiepert has returned to work after a long absence. A photo accompanying the newspaper article showed Liz smiling. Her family and friends said they noticed a difference in her in that the anguished look she had carried was gone. Finally, the weight had been lifted.

The weight of holding resentment and not being able to forgive is perhaps one of the most destructive emotions we can cling to. Even when we feel it is justified, the end result is the damage it does to our bodies and minds. We always have a choice, just as Liz Kiepert had. She chose to forgive and free both herself and the young man who still has a life to live.

WORDS. Just a few simple but meaningful words have put a smile back on Liz’s face and life back into her spirit.  As you’ve seen, words are powerful.

EMPOWERED SENIOR LIVING

November 6, 2008

 “BECAUSE I CAN”  

By: Ruby MacDonald

Recently our daughter Shannon moved to this area from Bend, Oregon.  I watched as the movers unloaded all of their “treasures” from the large moving van into the house. I became fascinated with one of the movers as I watched him work. It was obvious he wasn’t a kid, but he was lean and muscular and worked harder than the eighteen year old mover. Curious, I asked the 75 year old man who was checking off the items if he knew the man’s age. He shook his head and then shouted over, “Hey, Jim, how old are ya’?”

“Eighty-two” Jim replied as he kept working.  My other daughter, Deb asked, “Why are you doing this kind of hard work?”  His reply was the stimulus for this article.  “BECAUSE I CAN,” Jim replied with pride, “Keeps me moving and healthy.”  He kept walking towards the van as he talked to us.

I know a lovely lady who is in her late 90’s who also lives that philosophy. She has created and still turns out beautiful raku pottery, lives in an upstairs condo and remains an independent woman.  BECAUSE I CAN!

Perhaps some of you remember the artist known as “Grandma Moses” who became famous for her country scenes and earned the title of “Grandma” because she was in her eighties when she began painting. BECAUSE I CAN!

On the dark side of aging, I once knew a perfectly healthy, strong woman, who at the age of 55, proclaimed herself “old” and took to her rocking chair. She rocked away each year of her life only to become a grouchy, lonely old woman who lived to be 101, and no one wanted to be around.  I am thankful that I knew this woman – for she has been my inspiration to remain youthful in my attitudes and lifestyle and to remember that AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER that tells us how long we have had the privilege of living and hopefully serving in some useful way.

Of course, the opposite of BECAUSE I CAN, is that old worn out phrase on which we frequently lean.”  I CAN’T.”  How often do we use that phrase as an excuse to grow older in place instead of exerting just a little more energy  to do something different, new, or a bit more difficult — BECAUSE YOU CAN!?

Here are some things to try this week: An exercise class – how about the new “ConDuctorcise” class everyone is talking about with great excitement?  When was the last time you made the effort to talk to someone you didn’t know and made a new friend?  How about helping a new resident to integrate into your community?  When was the last time you went on one of the many outings that are offered?  Or tried a new craft?  As I look over the monthly calendar I see enough activities to keep a person in the “I CAN” ATTITUDE for a lifetime.

Tonight before you retire, I’d like you to think about some of the things you have been telling yourself that you can’t do.  Now take a piece of paper and write a note to yourself and leave it where you will see it the first thing in the morning.  Write down at least one new thing that you will do to start or improve the ‘I CAN ATTITUDE.”  And have fun and be proud of yourself.