Words Are The Most Powerful Thing In The Universe! – Senior Living Insights

February 21, 2009

Words are the most powerful thing in the universe.

Senior Living Insights By Ruby MacDonald
WORDS ARE POWERFUL. How we use them is most important. Positive words are powerful enough to bring healing. Negative words have the power to kill our spirit as illustrated in a newspaper article which clearly demonstrates how powerful and healing just a few simple words can be. After you’ve read this column perhaps, you’ll be moved to say some healing words to someone who waits, hoping to hear them.

Maybe you read the article in the Contra Costa Times on July 3, 2002; the headlines read: WOMAN RELIEVED TO HEAR SON’S KILLER APOLOGIZE. There was also a photo of Liz Kiepert—smiling!

You may remember back to 1998 when  an 11-year-old boy shot and killed Larry Kiepert, a 13 year old neighbor boy who was playing basketball in his own yard.  The eleven year old served four years for voluntary manslaughter.. This week when he attended his parole hearing, so did Liz Kiepert, the mother of the boy who was killed.

According to the news article written by Contra Costa Times Staff Writer, Celeste Ward,  Liz Kiepert  had suffered depression, anxiety, panic attacks and post-traumatic stress disorder after she watched her son be shot to death. She had said she wished the boy would have to serve the entire 14-year sentence and she did not understand how he could be rehabilitated when her family was still torn apart.

As the hearing date approached, Liz Kiepert wasn’t sure she wanted to be there. Two doctors had advised her against it but she needed to be there to vindicate her son. She went alone.  What occurred at the hearing is the best thing that could have happened, short of bringing her son back to life.

Moments before his release, the now 15 year-old boy had something to say. Liz says, “He turned around to face me and at first was mumbling. He said, ‘Mrs. Kiepert, if there was anything I could do differently, I would. I wish I could bring Larry back.’ Then he started to cry, and I asked the judge if I could hug him. That came out of my heart. When I saw him crying, I thought, ‘He’s a child.’ I hugged him 10 to 20 seconds and he kept whispering in my ear, ‘I’m so sorry.’  I told him Larry would forgive him, and to go make a good life for himself. I had the whole courtroom in tears.”

Liz Kiepert felt the years of bitterness and anger melt away as the judge released the boy. She said, “It was a relief. He said what I wanted to hear all these years. I felt like a weight was taken off my shoulders. Now I can go forward.” Liz Kiepert has returned to work after a long absence. A photo accompanying the newspaper article showed Liz smiling. Her family and friends said they noticed a difference in her in that the anguished look she had carried was gone. Finally, the weight had been lifted.

The weight of holding resentment and not being able to forgive is perhaps one of the most destructive emotions we can cling to. Even when we feel it is justified, the end result is the damage it does to our bodies and minds. We always have a choice, just as Liz Kiepert had. She chose to forgive and free both herself and the young man who still has a life to live.

WORDS. Just a few simple but meaningful words have put a smile back on Liz’s face and life back into her spirit.  As you’ve seen, words are powerful.

How To HAve A Love Affair – Senior Living Insights

December 27, 2008

By Ruby MacDonald

Taking care of self is a natural outgrowth of self-love. Have a quiet love affair with yourself. – Dr. Wayne Dyer.

 

 

It’s that time of year again; let’s welcome December with gratitude for all the blessings that surround us. Every holiday season it has been my tradition to suggest that you give yourself a Christmas gift. That gift is to love yourself more. Self-love covers the oceans of your life and its effect excludes nothing in your own private world. It is priceless–yet costs nothing–except a decision. Our circumstances and age are not barriers. The only barrier is our own resistance.

 

There are many reasons why we don’t love ourselves properly. One is guilt from our past. We carry it around as though it were something to cherish; we talk about it, we think about it, and we put ourselves down for past mistakes. We can forgive others but not ourselves. We’ve all made mistakes; mistakes happen so that we can learn from them. They are not failures–they are simply tools for learning. They are forgivable. This season, forgive. Then the first beautiful gift you can unwrap for yourself is FORGIVENESS. Forgive yourself right now for everything that bothers you. Picture yourself as a beautiful new baby who has just entered the world with a life free of guilt and free of self-blame. LOVE YOURSELF. GOD LOVES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE.

 

The next gift to claim is a new way to look at illness and health. Dr. Wayne Dyer says that when you are told that you have a physical affliction you can either prepare to suffer or prepare to heal. Unfortunately, most of us open up our arms and receive the news as though it were what we’d been hoping for. After all, it does give us something new to talk and complain about. Dinner-table-talk. In addition, we usually take complete ownership of the diagnosis and immediately refer to it as “my” arthritis, or “my” heart condition, or “my cancer,” and we hold on like it is a precious gem. Then we worry about it developing into a worse condition, completely forgetting that, “We become what we think about all day long.”  We all know people who have been diagnosed with cancer and given a short time to live. And they live short. We also know of people who lived with cancer for years because they didn’t know they had an illness and were never given that life-sentence.

 

Many doctors don’t help us to think positively. Some love to tell us that arthritis will set in after a sprain, fall or break. They simply can’t say you’ve broken your arm and it will heal. No. Arthritis will set in. On a trip to Kauai sometime ago, I slipped on a slimy rock while exploring the beach and injured my wrist badly. I was told that I’d be getting arthritis.  If I had believed that, I’d have arthritis for certain.  When a doctor tells me that, I just look him in the eye and say, “Doc, I refuse to have arthritis.” They don’t hear comments like that very often and that renders them speechless–for a moment or two. My purpose certainly is not to put-down doctors, but rather to have you change the way you think about illness. When a medical expert tells us that we have a ”dis-ease,” the word means that our body is not at ease. It’s a warning. You can help put the “ease” or harmony back by focusing on the positives and believing that you possess the power/attitude to help heal yourself and that there is a spiritual solution to every problem.  You are never alone.

 

These are the easy steps to take: 1) Take control of your life.  Do not accept an illness with open arms;. 2) Refuse to give the illness permission to stay in your body. 3) Visualize your body as whole, as perfectly healthy. 4) Tell yourself several times a day that you have a healthy body. 5) Give gratitude for that body. 6) Do not think about or focus on the illness, 7) Do not talk about it, Do not reinforce it in any way. 9) Continue to follow your doctor’s orders and treat your illness as prescribed knowing that your body is healing. 10) Remember, thoughts are powerful. If you think you will not get well, you won’t. If you think you’ll heal, you will.

 

The best gift you can give yourself is a Love Affair. Make the decision to have a love affair with yourself, and then really fall in love with that magnificent spirit that lives inside your body.

 

May your cup of blessings truly runneth over.

Senior Living Insights

AGELESS – REALITY OR MYTH? Senior Living Insights

December 20, 2008

AGELESS – REALITY OR MYTH? Senior Living Insights

 

By Ruby MacDonald

 

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. – unknown

 

For the last few decades I’ve been teaching people how to think in a way that keeps them feeling ageless. And now, suddenly my friends and I have all become seniors. And that’s a good thing! Being a senior demands that we learn to flow with the tide or we shall drown in the sea of life. Some of my friends who are not yet seniors are also struggling in the waters of change as an only child, or children, swim away from the warm sands of home to find their new adventures. Then the parents must learn to walk the beach alone. My older friends experience the death of a loved one, divorce, illness, moving to a new community to be near adult children, and the list of changes we must face are endless. We’ve always gone through changes at every age but somehow in these golden years, the waters we wade in seem deeper.

 

Most of the major changes create high stress levels. However, change is the name of the game of life. Whether we can adjust to the many changes is what determines whether or not we will become “aged” or “ageless.” Given the choice, becoming and staying AGELESS is the ideal goal. Too many of us seem to reach a certain age and then never again venture into the oceans of life. Yet the ocean still beacons to us to jump in and swim.

 

Of course, circumstances change over the years and our health may in reality slow us down or even stop us from being as active as we once were. However, what we do with our attitude about any circumstance is totally up to each of us. Fortunately there are many who never see any limitations to living a full life. One of my favorite people who exhibited strength and courage was Christopher Reeves who not only fought to live life as fully as he could, but also helped others while doing so. He could have given up, felt sorry for himself and created misery for all those who loved him, but he displayed courage and determination instead.

 

Helen Keller, being both blind and deaf had more to overcome than most of us, but she said that, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” She didn’t include an age limit in her statement, and we should not set age limits to our quest for adventure. She knew that her character would be formed and strengthened by surmounting the difficulties she faced.

 

WE ARE THE MASTER, EVEN IN OUR WEAKEST AND MOST ABANDONED STATE – James Allen

 

There are so many advantages to being a senior. Yet we seldom hear the positive side. Let me name a few. By this time we don’t care anymore what people say or think about us. We’ve earned the right to be us and we don’t have to meet the expectations of others. We can simply relax and be. We don’t have to “do” unless we want to. As someone wisely said, we are not human do-ings, we are “human be-ings.” But we often forget to take the time to simply BE. Seniors have more time to BE.

 

Another advantage of being an AGELESS Senior is that we can “BE” an inspiration to others. We can help drown the old myth that being a senior is the end of life and that we can’t keep doing many of the enjoyable things we’ve always done. The only thing that stops us is fear and an attitude that shouts that we can’t or shouldn’t at “our age.” To become or stay AGELESS, you’ve got to want it – you’ve got to have the passion – if you are to change. 

 

Lasting changes need a strong foundation on which to thrive. Just as the oceans rest on firm bed- rock, our strength comes from being firmly centered in a Higher Power. To become or remain  AGELESS in today’s world requires a vigilant guard against the myths of aging that surround and nag at us.  In the end, it’s up to each one of us to decide whether we will be “aged” and let the last precious years of life slip by, or be AGELESS, ignore the number of years of we’ve lived, and find new adventures to pursue so that life is exciting and stimulating. The choice is ours. January first is an excellent time to commit to an AGELESS ATTITUDE, renewing that commitment every single morning. What would you like to be doing right now that you’ve allowed your age and attitude to stop you?

 

“HOLD FAST TO an ageless attitude FOR IF the spirit dies, LIFE is nothing more than a boat at sea that cannot navigate the oceans of life; it is at the mercy of the wind and waves.” – Ruby MacDonald

 

Senior Living Insights

Getting Older – Senior Living Insights

December 13, 2008

GETTING OLDER – Senior Living Insights

By Ruby MacDonald

“I began to understand that the promises of the world are for the most part vain phantoms, and that to have faith in one self and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” – Michelangelo

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback; I don’t think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, the woman was immediately embarrassed. I then explained that it was an interesting question and I would ponder it.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body, of course! The wrinkles, the baggy eyes, skin spots and bumps, the sagging butt, and – - -. Often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for very long. This is God’s plan for us.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve finally become my own friend and I like her.

I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly trinket. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy and to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. I dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s and if at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. Oh yes, they too, will eventually look like me.

I know I am often forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. Eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

Most importantly, I think that by living this many years, I have finally begun to understand a bit about why we are all here; why we were gifted to walk the pathways we have trod and maybe glimpse a bit of God’s plan for now and later. I have been truly blessed.

So, to answer the question: I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. And -I shall eat a bit of the “dessert of life” every single day! (Author unknown – an email forward 5-05)

***

I’d like to thank the person who wrote this article because she has fed us some challenging food for thought. Today let’s all rethink our own attitudes about aging and if they are less than positive, turn those thoughts around so that each and every day that God gives us will be a precious gift for which we truly give thanks and receive with gratitude each and every morning as we awaken.

PEOPLE DON’T GROW OLD.

WHEN THEY STOP GROWING, THEY BECOME OLD. – (Anonymous)

Is there really a secret to the secret or is the secret no secret at all? Senior Living Insights

November 21, 2008

empowered living – senior Living Insights

Is there really a secret to the secret or is the secret no secret at all?

By Ruby MacDonald

“A person who sets his/her mind on the dark side of life, who lives over and over the misfortunes and disappointments of the past, prays for similar misfortunes and disappointments in the future. If you will see nothing but ill luck in the future, you are praying for such ill luck and will surely get it.” – Prentice Mulford

This is the last in a series of three regarding this subject. As I’ve talked with various retiree’s about using this technique for changing our lives and getting what we really want, I am asked the same question many times:  “But don’t we have to take responsibility and do something besides ask, believe, and wait for it to come to us?”

The answer is YES, you must participate.  It takes more than asking and waiting. You must participate with your whole mind, body and soul. Don’t expect the universe to dump a million silver dollars in your lap simply because you asked. If it is realistic for YOU, it may come after you’ve asked, if you’ve made an effort to enter all the doors of opportunity that the asking has provided for you.

One of the other questions I’m asked is about age. Many people think that their age is a barrier to using these principles, but let me assure you that there is no age limit – it is only each of us who set those limits.  So now let’s go to work. I’ll explain how to use the principles in the book, The Secret, and in other motivational wisdom books such as those written by Dr. Wayne Dyer, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Carolyn Myss, and many others.  Basically, only the words are different, the message is the same. The message is about THE LAW OF ATTRACTION – OR

— I attract what I think about all day long — Senior Living Insights

I know a man who is always pinching pennies, is always saying he can’t afford to do what his peers are doing, is always worried about where the next check is coming from – and when he speaks, he mostly comes from a negative place.  I ATTRACT WHAT I THINK ABOUT –. Yes, you got it. As you know, when you come from a negative place, the mind only hears negativity and works to produce more of what “we think about,” even though we may say we don’t like the cards we’ve been dealt.  But in reality we are creating that negative environment by our thoughts and words.  Do you remember hearing, “Change yourself and you change your universe?”

We can certainly apply the law of attraction to health. If we focus on our aches and pains (and who amongst us doesn’t have any?) our pains will increase, and we will talk more about them and they will get even worse. It’s not to say that we should ignore whatever is going on in our bodies; we need to take care of the problems with medication, exercise or whatever has been suggested or prescribed, but we don’t need to tell the world about it repeatedly, and keep complaining about the pain because that serves to reinforce the illness and produce more. Focusing on something positive opens the door to joy and happiness even though the pain is a companion.

Owen Waters, author of “The Shift: The revolution in human consciousness,” says “The state of regular, conscious thinking often contains self-limiting filters like skepticism, fears, or a lack of self-esteem.”  Sometimes we must work hard to break those habits of thought and change them to a positive way of looking at life, no matter what our circumstances may be. We may have pain or handicaps for the rest of our lives, but we must find some way to see life in a positive way so that we can live with joy instead of becoming bitter about life and hard to live with.

Abraham/Hicks say, “ You can get anywhere you want to be from wherever you now are. There is no place that you are that is too far from where you want to be. (There are no exceptions.) Just go there little by little, as you deliberately feel a little better now, and little better now. “

In reality, there are no secrets in life – just common sense. The laws of the universe apply. Plant weeds and weeds will grow. Plant beautiful flowers and you’ll have a joyful burst of color. I’d rather attract a bouquet of fragrant carnations, wouldn’t you?

“I AM WHAT I THINK ABOUT ALL DAY LONG“

Senior Living Insights

http://www.seniorlivingsolutions.com

“You gotta live every day like it’s your last” -Frank Sinatra – Senior Living Insights

November 17, 2008

“You gotta live every day like it’s your last because one day you’ll be right.” Frank Sinatra

While Tom and I, Tim and Suz and friends were moored off the New Zealand coast one evening, listening to my all time favorite, Frank Sinatra singing many of his popular hits, we made a point of listening carefully to the lyrics. We found that they contained some pretty wonderful messages for our lives that triggered a lively discussion. Ole Blue Eyes may be gone but his spirit certainly is alive in our daily lives through his music.  As you read these words, think about them and what they either do or can mean to you personally.

IF YOU’RE YOUNG AT HEART
Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you’re young at heart
For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you’re young at heart

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart or on its way

Don’t you know that it’s worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are its much better by far
To be young at heart

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you’ll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart. – (Music:Joseph Myrow, Lyrics: Mack Gordon 1946)

We asked everyone aboard what they thought it meant to be “young at heart” and thus this month’s column was born.

First of all, let’s begin by discussing what it means when we don’t stay young at heart:  All too often we focus on the number of years we’ve lived and give the number permission to dominate our lives, either by mimicking aging role models, or living by preconceived ideas about aging that society has handed to us.  It’s easy to forget that times change and today we are far younger than our parents were in their aging years.  If we do focus on the number of years we’ve lived, too often we use our age as an excuse to get stuck in one time zone and live in the past. Or we think we’re much too old to do certain things such as dressing more youthfully, trying a new hair style and since we’re simply afraid to try new things, we limit/deprive ourselves of being young at heart. We stop dreaming. We get stuck. Fairy tales fade away.

“For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind, If you’re young at heart”

On the other hand, those who remain young at heart seldom use their age as an excuse. If anything, they use their age as a springboard because they know it’s now or never and they’d better get with the program if they’re going to have fairy tales come true. They live each day to the fullest—as though it’s the last, as ole Blue Eyes said.

Those who are young at heart are not afraid to risk doing something new and different, whether it is a new card game, traveling to an unfamiliar place, or ordering something new on the menu. Or perhaps it’s a new trendy hairstyle, or daring to have our hair colored (men and women), or wearing a bright new color that makes us look alive and ready to explore life.

To be young at heart is to be limitless – that is, there are no limits set, no boundaries to which you will not cross because of fear, or risk, or age.

The young at heart feel ageless. They don’t look in the mirror and concentrate on the road map that has planted itself on their faces. They are proud of their wrinkles, knowing they’ve worked darned hard to earn them. Instead they look in the mirror and see a face that has sparkling eyes, smile lines, and a mind filled with positive attitudes that nourish a sense of enduring adventure. They still buy green bananas.

The young at heart are timeless. They don’t make plans according to the number of years they’ve lived. Their time-line is open. They can bend. They are open-ended to new ideas as the times change, and know that change is what life on this planet is all about.

The young at heart aren’t afraid to dream. They set realistic goals and watch them come true, one at a time. They know that they must have something to look forward to each day, something that is filled with hope for tomorrow. It may be as small as knitting a scarf for someone, or as large as taking a trip to a place they’ve always wanted to see on the other side of the world, or in the next town, or in the garden. There are no size restrictions to dreams and we can have any kind and as many as we want. So what are you waiting for?

Fairy tales can come true. It can happen to you – if you’re young at heart.

AGELESS – Senior Insight

November 5, 2008

AGELESS – REALITY OR MYTH?

By: Ruby MacDonald

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. – unknown

For the last few decades I’ve been teaching people how to think in a way that keeps them feeling ageless. And now, suddenly my friends and I have all become seniors. And that’s a good thing! Being a senior demands that we learn to flow with the tide or we shall drown in the sea of life. Some of my friends who are not yet seniors are also struggling in the waters of change as an only child, or children, swim away from the warm sands of home to find their new adventures. Then the parents must learn to walk the beach alone. My older friends experience the death of a loved one, divorce, illness, moving to a new community to be near adult children, and the list of changes we must face are endless. We’ve always gone through changes at every age but somehow in these golden years, the waters we wade in seem deeper.

Most of the major changes create high stress levels. However, change is the name of the game of life. Whether we can adjust to the many changes is what determines whether or not we will become “aged” or “ageless.” Given the choice, becoming and staying AGELESS is the ideal goal. Too many of us seem to reach a certain age and then never again venture into the oceans of life. Yet the ocean still beacons to us to jump in and swim.

Of course, circumstances change over the years and our health may in reality slow us down or even stop us from being as active as we once were. However, what we do with our attitude about any circumstance is totally up to each of us. Fortunately there are many who never see any limitations to living a full life. One of my favorite people who exhibited strength and courage was Christopher Reeves who not only fought to live life as fully as he could, but also helped others while doing so. He could have given up, felt sorry for himself and created misery for all those who loved him, but he displayed courage and determination instead.

Helen Keller, being both blind and deaf had more to overcome than most of us, but she said that, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” She didn’t include an age limit in her statement, and we should not set age limits to our quest for adventure. She knew that her character would be formed and strengthened by surmounting the difficulties she faced.

WE ARE THE MASTER, EVEN IN OUR WEAKEST AND MOST ABANDONED STATE – James Allen

There are so many advantages to being a senior. Yet we seldom hear the positive side. Let me name a few. By this time we don’t care anymore what people say or think about us. We’ve earned the right to be us and we don’t have to meet the expectations of others. We can simply relax and be. We don’t have to “do” unless we want to. As someone wisely said, we are not human do-ings, we are “human be-ings.” But we often forget to take the time to simply BE. Seniors have more time to BE.

Another advantage of being an AGELESS Senior is that we can “BE” an inspiration to others. We can help drown the old myth that being a senior is the end of life and that we can’t keep doing many of the enjoyable things we’ve always done. The only thing that stops us is fear and an attitude that shouts that we can’t or shouldn’t at “our age.” To become or stay AGELESS, you’ve got to want it – you’ve got to have the passion – if you are to change.

Lasting changes need a strong foundation on which to thrive. Just as the oceans rest on firm bed- rock, our strength comes from being firmly centered in a Higher Power. To become or remain  AGELESS in today’s world requires a vigilant guard against the myths of aging that surround and nag at us.  In the end, it’s up to each one of us to decide whether we will be “aged” and let the last precious years of life slip by, or be AGELESS, ignore the number of years of we’ve lived, and find new adventures to pursue so that life is exciting and stimulating. The choice is ours. January first is an excellent time to commit to an AGELESS ATTITUDE, renewing that commitment every single morning. What would you like to be doing right now that you’ve allowed your age and attitude to stop you?

“HOLD FAST TO an ageless attitude FOR IF the spirit dies, LIFE is nothing more than a boat at sea that cannot navigate the oceans of life; it is at the mercy of the wind and waves.” – Ruby MacDonald