Every Day Like It’s Your Last! Senior Living San Francisco

November 14, 2008

Every Day Like It’s Your Last! Senior Living San Francisco

By: Ruby MacDonald

“You gotta live every day like it’s your last because one day you’ll be right.” Frank Sinatra

While Tom and I, Tim and Suz and friends were moored off the New Zealand coast one evening, listening to my all time favorite, Frank Sinatra singing many of his popular hits, we made a point of listening carefully to the lyrics. We found that they contained some pretty wonderful messages for our lives that triggered a lively discussion. Ole Blue Eyes may be gone but his spirit certainly is alive in our daily lives through his music.  As you read these words, think about them and what they either do or can mean to you personally.

IF YOU’RE YOUNG AT HEART
Fairy tales can come true
It can happen to you
If you’re young at heart
For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind
If you’re young at heart

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes
You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams
And life gets more exciting with each passing day
And love is either in your heart or on its way

Don’t you know that it’s worth every treasure on earth
To be young at heart
For as rich as you are its much better by far
To be young at heart

And if you should survive to 105
Look at all you’ll derive out of being alive
Then here is the best part
You have a head start
If you are among the very young at heart. – (Music:Joseph Myrow, Lyrics: Mack Gordon 1946)

We asked everyone aboard what they thought it meant to be “young at heart” and thus this month’s column was born.

First of all, let’s begin by discussing what it means when we don’t stay young at heart:  All too often we focus on the number of years we’ve lived and give the number permission to dominate our lives, either by mimicking aging role models, or living by preconceived ideas about aging that society has handed to us.  It’s easy to forget that times change and today we are far younger than our parents were in their aging years.  If we do focus on the number of years we’ve lived, too often we use our age as an excuse to get stuck in one time zone and live in the past. Or we think we’re much too old to do certain things such as dressing more youthfully, trying a new hair style and since we’re simply afraid to try new things, we limit/deprive ourselves of being young at heart. We stop dreaming. We get stuck. Fairy tales fade away.

“For its hard, you will find, to be narrow of mind, If you’re young at heart”

On the other hand, those who remain young at heart seldom use their age as an excuse. If anything, they use their age as a springboard because they know it’s now or never and they’d better get with the program if they’re going to have fairy tales come true. They live each day to the fullest—as though it’s the last, as ole Blue Eyes said.

Those who are young at heart are not afraid to risk doing something new and different, whether it is a new card game, traveling to an unfamiliar place, or ordering something new on the menu. Or perhaps it’s a new trendy hairstyle, or daring to have our hair colored (men and women), or wearing a bright new color that makes us look alive and ready to explore life.

To be young at heart is to be limitless – that is, there are no limits set, no boundaries to which you will not cross because of fear, or risk, or age.

The young at heart feel ageless. They don’t look in the mirror and concentrate on the road map that has planted itself on their faces. They are proud of their wrinkles, knowing they’ve worked darned hard to earn them. Instead they look in the mirror and see a face that has sparkling eyes, smile lines, and a mind filled with positive attitudes that nourish a sense of enduring adventure. They still buy green bananas.

The young at heart are timeless. They don’t make plans according to the number of years they’ve lived. Their time-line is open. They can bend. They are open-ended to new ideas as the times change, and know that change is what life on this planet is all about.

The young at heart aren’t afraid to dream. They set realistic goals and watch them come true, one at a time. They know that they must have something to look forward to each day, something that is filled with hope for tomorrow. It may be as small as knitting a scarf for someone, or as large as taking a trip to a place they’ve always wanted to see on the other side of the world, or in the next town, or in the garden. There are no size restrictions to dreams and we can have any kind and as many as we want. So what are you waiting for?

Fairy tales can come true. It can happen to you – if you’re young at heart.

Every Day Like It’s Your Last! Senior Living San Francisco

GETTING OLDER – Senior Living Insights

November 12, 2008

GETTING OLDER – Senior Living Insights

By: Ruby MacDonald

“I began to understand that the promises of the world are for the most part vain phantoms, and that to have faith in one self and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course.” – Michelangelo

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback; I don’t think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, the woman was immediately embarrassed. I then explained that it was an interesting question and I would ponder it.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body, of course!  The wrinkles, the baggy eyes, skin spots and bumps, the sagging butt, and – - -. Often I am taken aback by that old person who lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonize over those things for very long. This is God’s plan for us.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve finally become my own friend and I like her.

I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly trinket. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy and to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. I dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50’s and if at the same time wish to weep over a lost love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. Oh yes, they too, will eventually look like me.

I know I am often forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. Eventually I remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when a beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

Most importantly, I think that by living this many years, I have finally begun to understand a bit about why we are all here; why we were gifted to walk the pathways we have trod and maybe glimpse a bit of God’s plan for now and later. I have been truly blessed.

So, to answer the question: I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be.  And—I shall eat a bit of the “dessert of life” every single day!    (Author unknown – an email forward 5-05)
***
I’d like to thank the person who wrote this article because she has fed us some challenging food for thought. Today let’s all rethink our own attitudes about aging and if they are less than positive, turn those thoughts around so that each and every day that God gives us will be a precious gift for which we truly give thanks and receive with gratitude each and every morning as we awaken.

PEOPLE DON’T GROW OLD.
WHEN THEY STOP GROWING, THEY BECOME OLD. – (Anonymous)

EMPOWERED SENIOR LIVING

November 6, 2008

 “BECAUSE I CAN”  

By: Ruby MacDonald

Recently our daughter Shannon moved to this area from Bend, Oregon.  I watched as the movers unloaded all of their “treasures” from the large moving van into the house. I became fascinated with one of the movers as I watched him work. It was obvious he wasn’t a kid, but he was lean and muscular and worked harder than the eighteen year old mover. Curious, I asked the 75 year old man who was checking off the items if he knew the man’s age. He shook his head and then shouted over, “Hey, Jim, how old are ya’?”

“Eighty-two” Jim replied as he kept working.  My other daughter, Deb asked, “Why are you doing this kind of hard work?”  His reply was the stimulus for this article.  “BECAUSE I CAN,” Jim replied with pride, “Keeps me moving and healthy.”  He kept walking towards the van as he talked to us.

I know a lovely lady who is in her late 90’s who also lives that philosophy. She has created and still turns out beautiful raku pottery, lives in an upstairs condo and remains an independent woman.  BECAUSE I CAN!

Perhaps some of you remember the artist known as “Grandma Moses” who became famous for her country scenes and earned the title of “Grandma” because she was in her eighties when she began painting. BECAUSE I CAN!

On the dark side of aging, I once knew a perfectly healthy, strong woman, who at the age of 55, proclaimed herself “old” and took to her rocking chair. She rocked away each year of her life only to become a grouchy, lonely old woman who lived to be 101, and no one wanted to be around.  I am thankful that I knew this woman – for she has been my inspiration to remain youthful in my attitudes and lifestyle and to remember that AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER that tells us how long we have had the privilege of living and hopefully serving in some useful way.

Of course, the opposite of BECAUSE I CAN, is that old worn out phrase on which we frequently lean.”  I CAN’T.”  How often do we use that phrase as an excuse to grow older in place instead of exerting just a little more energy  to do something different, new, or a bit more difficult — BECAUSE YOU CAN!?

Here are some things to try this week: An exercise class – how about the new “ConDuctorcise” class everyone is talking about with great excitement?  When was the last time you made the effort to talk to someone you didn’t know and made a new friend?  How about helping a new resident to integrate into your community?  When was the last time you went on one of the many outings that are offered?  Or tried a new craft?  As I look over the monthly calendar I see enough activities to keep a person in the “I CAN” ATTITUDE for a lifetime.

Tonight before you retire, I’d like you to think about some of the things you have been telling yourself that you can’t do.  Now take a piece of paper and write a note to yourself and leave it where you will see it the first thing in the morning.  Write down at least one new thing that you will do to start or improve the ‘I CAN ATTITUDE.”  And have fun and be proud of yourself.

AGELESS – Senior Insight

November 5, 2008

AGELESS – REALITY OR MYTH?

By: Ruby MacDonald

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. – unknown

For the last few decades I’ve been teaching people how to think in a way that keeps them feeling ageless. And now, suddenly my friends and I have all become seniors. And that’s a good thing! Being a senior demands that we learn to flow with the tide or we shall drown in the sea of life. Some of my friends who are not yet seniors are also struggling in the waters of change as an only child, or children, swim away from the warm sands of home to find their new adventures. Then the parents must learn to walk the beach alone. My older friends experience the death of a loved one, divorce, illness, moving to a new community to be near adult children, and the list of changes we must face are endless. We’ve always gone through changes at every age but somehow in these golden years, the waters we wade in seem deeper.

Most of the major changes create high stress levels. However, change is the name of the game of life. Whether we can adjust to the many changes is what determines whether or not we will become “aged” or “ageless.” Given the choice, becoming and staying AGELESS is the ideal goal. Too many of us seem to reach a certain age and then never again venture into the oceans of life. Yet the ocean still beacons to us to jump in and swim.

Of course, circumstances change over the years and our health may in reality slow us down or even stop us from being as active as we once were. However, what we do with our attitude about any circumstance is totally up to each of us. Fortunately there are many who never see any limitations to living a full life. One of my favorite people who exhibited strength and courage was Christopher Reeves who not only fought to live life as fully as he could, but also helped others while doing so. He could have given up, felt sorry for himself and created misery for all those who loved him, but he displayed courage and determination instead.

Helen Keller, being both blind and deaf had more to overcome than most of us, but she said that, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” She didn’t include an age limit in her statement, and we should not set age limits to our quest for adventure. She knew that her character would be formed and strengthened by surmounting the difficulties she faced.

WE ARE THE MASTER, EVEN IN OUR WEAKEST AND MOST ABANDONED STATE – James Allen

There are so many advantages to being a senior. Yet we seldom hear the positive side. Let me name a few. By this time we don’t care anymore what people say or think about us. We’ve earned the right to be us and we don’t have to meet the expectations of others. We can simply relax and be. We don’t have to “do” unless we want to. As someone wisely said, we are not human do-ings, we are “human be-ings.” But we often forget to take the time to simply BE. Seniors have more time to BE.

Another advantage of being an AGELESS Senior is that we can “BE” an inspiration to others. We can help drown the old myth that being a senior is the end of life and that we can’t keep doing many of the enjoyable things we’ve always done. The only thing that stops us is fear and an attitude that shouts that we can’t or shouldn’t at “our age.” To become or stay AGELESS, you’ve got to want it – you’ve got to have the passion – if you are to change.

Lasting changes need a strong foundation on which to thrive. Just as the oceans rest on firm bed- rock, our strength comes from being firmly centered in a Higher Power. To become or remain  AGELESS in today’s world requires a vigilant guard against the myths of aging that surround and nag at us.  In the end, it’s up to each one of us to decide whether we will be “aged” and let the last precious years of life slip by, or be AGELESS, ignore the number of years of we’ve lived, and find new adventures to pursue so that life is exciting and stimulating. The choice is ours. January first is an excellent time to commit to an AGELESS ATTITUDE, renewing that commitment every single morning. What would you like to be doing right now that you’ve allowed your age and attitude to stop you?

“HOLD FAST TO an ageless attitude FOR IF the spirit dies, LIFE is nothing more than a boat at sea that cannot navigate the oceans of life; it is at the mercy of the wind and waves.” – Ruby MacDonald

Because I Can!

November 4, 2008

Empowered Living from Michael on Video.
Senior Assisted Living California – Retirement Center – Live your dream!

SENIOR LIVING WITH GRATITUDE

November 4, 2008

SEAS THE DAY WITH GRATITUDE
“A day without gratitude is like a day without sunshine.”

by: Ruby MacDonald

Today the sky is a lovely cobalt blue, a welcome change from the rains. Fluffy white clouds tease the sun. The horizon is a less vivid color as it dips down into the Coral Sea here on the north eastern coast of Australia. I’m sitting on the deck of a catamaran watching the dark blue waves that barely hint at white caps. We’re cruising along at ten knots and all is well.  Life is good. We utter a silent prayer of gratitude.

Gratitude! Such a powerful word. This word is a potent tool for life when we remember to focus on it. Oh, it’s easy to focus on gratitude on a perfect day such as this one when my mind is peaceful; I’m comfortable, healthy and well fed.

But what about those days when a persistent wind whips our sails or the seas are so choppy it’s difficult to find our sea legs – or the engines fail to fire up in the face of an approaching cyclone?

Even on land everyone has days like those. They seem to multiply as we grow into being more “seasoned adults.” But when we shift our focus from gratitude for all that’s right about our lives and focus on all that is not so right, often the sea of life becomes too rough to handle. It is then that thoughts of gratitude seem to have sunk to the bottom of the sea and the desire to be thankful for what fate has handed us is locked tight in Davey’s locker.

The sixty four dollar question then, is, “How can I focus on the positive things in my life when it feels as though I’ve drowned in my own problems?”  Changing our thought pattern is simple but not easy—since the way we think is a habit and habits are not easy to break. But the good news is that since thoughts are a habit, we can start a new habit—a new way of thinking. Use the methods outlined below, and stick with it for the entire month. These new habits will enrich your life and help develop an attitude of gratitude.

The first thought of negativity that sneaks into your mind must be speared as soon as possible so it doesn’t spread its tentacles like an octopus and render you helpless. A thought, (what you think ) is one of the most powerful, invisible, weapons (tools) in the world. Doubt me? Think about how Hitler’s powerful thoughts/words contaminated the world.  On the positive side, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale influenced thousands, perhaps millions of people including me, with his book, The Power of Positive Thinking. It all started with a thought. Dr. Wayne Dyer, a modern day motivational teacher of wisdom, says that we become what we think about all day long, and the Bible warned us to be careful what we ask for (it is a thought first). A thought alone is as powerful as asking for something with words. Think of it as a seed. As soon as energy is given to any thought it sprouts, and like a pesky weed, will spread its roots and grow.
Take charge of your thoughts and words. Remember, thoughts are powerful tools and you are in control of them. Many us allow our thoughts to sail through our minds with no controls. Yet we surely wouldn’t get into a boat that had no captain, engine (sails), no rudder, or wheel, and let the sea joust us about and be at the mercy of the seas Yet that is exactly what many of us do with our lives when we don’t control our thoughts.
Have your ammunition at hand. We must have constructive thoughts ready to push out and replace the first negative/destructive thoughts that enter.. Usually negative thoughts stir in the morning as soon as we wake up. Old habits have been lying beside us all night and they get up with us. It’s up to us to usher them out or invite them to stay. There are several kinds of ammunition that will replace those destructive thoughts while we break the old thought-patterns:
Bible verses to read or saying those you have memorized
Being in a state of gratitude first thing in the morning and before sleeping
Prayers of affirmation and gratitude
Reading inspirational magazines and books to keep your mind focused on the positive side of life.
Listening to tapes, CDs of inspirational speakers
Making a nightly list of at least five things for which you are grateful each day.
Taking a quiet time each day to consciously focus on gratitude.
Hanging out with positive people. “You gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative,” to quote from an old song.

BE GRATEFUL.  No matter what the day brings, work at being grateful about the many things that are still good in your life.  Write “GRATITUDE” on your mirror or paper to constantly remind you until GRATITUDE becomes an automatic habit.

“Serving your mind a dose of gratitude is like a multivitamin for your body.”

SENIOR LIVING WITH GRATUTUDE…

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